Saturday, November 5, 2011

Catching up

One tropical day melts stickily into another around here with little differentiation between them. Suddenly 365 days and then some have stickily strung themselves together and I realize that I haven’t posted a real, proper blog update. I realize that I’ve likely left those important to me wondering what in the world is going on in my remote corner of the world. I realize that although I came here ready to pour myself out in service, I’ve acted very selfishly these last 15 months. I’ve lived on the inside, struggling to process what it means to be an American in a cultural context that is so far removed from American culture; struggling to understand who I am in this context. There’s not always a lot happening in my external world here, and it leaves plenty of time to dwell on the internal. I haven’t reached out sufficiently beyond the confines of my tropical lagoon in the last 15 months; and so for my last 7 here I would like to make an attempt to live a bit more externally.

So with that, let me welcome you back into my world – a world where the following has become my norm:
- wearing skirts (everyday; sometimes used for swimming, showering or sleeping as well)
- taking off shoes before entering a room, including the main office, the library, the business office and the computer lab at my school
- saying “tirow” and bending down slightly when walking in front of anyone sitting or between two people talking
- eating with fingers
- opening a drink or snack, taking a small sip or handful and immediately passing it around to everyone in sight; or grabbing for someone’s food/drink without asking (why ask? of course it’s shared)
- taking cold showers (delightfully cold, most of the time)
- taking two showers a day
- sleeping with a headlamp next to my pillow
- bucket flushing
- sleeping on the floor (not every night by any means, but let me tell you after this experience I can sleep comfortably on most any surface).
- wearing mumus
- eating the most delicious tuna sashimi you can imagine (and gutting/filleting a 10 pound fish on my own, too!)
- seeing the ocean every. single. day.

It’s just a quick glimpse, but one that reveals much about my life here. Here are some other points of interest, worthy of their own separate paragraphs.

Students:
Last year I taught Junior and Senior Literature as well as an Environmental Science elective. I loved the content of the Senior lit class and although I loved the senior students, I felt more connected to the junior class. Throughout last year my attachment to the class of 2012 grew steadily as I helped with fundraising car washes, participated on both junior retreats and coached juniors in debate. I knew coming into this school year that I wanted nothing more than to teach the senior class. Initially I wasn’t assigned to teach senior lit, but decided that it was worth fighting for and after some finagling finally ended up with Senior and Freshman literature. As ever, the class of 2012 is amazing. They show a wonderful sense of unity and initiative that makes me so proud of them. There is not a single student among them who isn’t involved with school activities. I am utterly delighted to be able to “graduate” with these amazing young men and women.
One of these students showed up a few weeks ago at our door dragging a large palm branch over his shoulder. He had come to show us how to make palm skirts for the first day of our school’s spirit week which was themed as the “Cultural” day. So, for about an hour we sat and sang along to Bob Marley while pinching apart palm fronds and whittling notches in palm branches. This particular student also happens to have an amazing voice and can frequently be found in our apartment or one of our teacher’s offices recording on Garageband, often while providing his own harmonies and back-up music. He has absolute raw talent that is incredible. Listening to him sing and learning to make a palm leaf skirt are both activities that cause me to stop and ask myself, “where am I, and what have I done to deserve such a life?”
Another student invited me to join the senior girl dance for the Newcomers Entertainment (where all of the upper grades put on skits and performances for the freshman and new teachers each year); so for two weeks I spent after school hours practicing my hula skills with seven of my students. Although I never gained the hip-shaking skills that seem inherent to all of them, I had a wonderful time building relationship and learning some islandy dance moves (despite the fact that hula is Polynesian, not Micronesian.).

Host Family:
For those of you who don’t know, I have a host family who lives on a nearby island called Tonoas. Ideally I would go out to visit them once a month, but scheduling and circumstance always seem to keep it to a once every 2 or 3 month excursion. At any rate, this past July I spent a wonderful weekend on Tonoas and finally crossed the threshold from feeling like an awkward guest to feeling like part of the family. The weekend was filled with nights of bingo with my host mom and the village ladies and good conversation with my host dad (who works at the Department of Education). One of my relatives caught a baby sea turtle and I got to sit around the makeshift aquarium she created with all of the kids and admire it. I took a walk with four of my host cousins (two of whom are my students) around our village of Enin and we enjoyed a lovely picnic with a spectacular view of Weno in the background. As we circled around we even enjoyed fresh guava and mangoes right off the tree. I spent perhaps the coldest day of my Micronesian life with about 10 of my cousins swimming at nearby dock. Despite the fact that they live on an island, a lot of people around here (especially girls) don’t necessarily swim all that often. We spent nearly three hours in the pouring rain swimming, diving off the dock, and having a hoot of a time. By the time we left my teeth were literally chattering and my fingers were going numb with cold. I also sat on the floor for two hours with one of my cousins pointing to things around the room and identifying them in Chuukese and in English. All in all it was a wonderful weekend.
I returned again in mid-October, and again felt a natural ease that had been absent during my first few visits. I still feel awkward in that I don’t really speak much Chuukese, and most of them don’t really speak much English, but it’s very satisfying to have those cousins who used to not eat with me or sit near me readily lounge around and share a meal with me. Even though I still feel like an awkward outsider at times, I feel like their awkward outsider. This last visit happened to coincide with a Catholic youth gathering in my village in which each geographic region of the village (three in total) dressed in their own colors and everybody spent hours and hours singing and dancing and eating. Everyone was packed in an outdoor meeting house (an uut), shoulder to shoulder, with people peeling away between songs to cool down out by the banana trees. Even though it’s open, the uut was stifling with so many people inside). I was included in one of the dances, which happened to be the same one I had learned for New Comers Entertainment. Most of my relatives where surprised and delighted to realize that I knew the dance.

New Community:
The Jesuit Volunteer Corps is a two-year program (internationally), but volunteers rotate in and out of each other’s lives in 1-year chunks. So, as last year came to a close Charles and I sadly bid farewell to our amazing second-year volunteers: Caro, Jess and Tyler. We weathered a solid day or two of mourning before it was announced that we would be hosting two college students for the summer. We quickly rallied ourselves back into community mode and welcomed them into our lives. Six short weeks later Tara and Kelly were back on a plane heading home while our new community mate, Paige, and the two new volunteers at Xavier High School, Jay and Gabe, arrived. The combined Xavier/SCA community has been great and we enjoyed some wonderful adventures together during our “Phase Two” orientation to orient and welcome the new volunteers.

Adventures:
Speaking of adventures, as mentioned the arrival of the new volunteers provided just the right excuse to partake in some local activities that us second years had never experienced or had only experienced once before during our orientation. Included on the list were: hiking Witapon (the highest point on the island), doing the “backhike” from Xavier to Blue Lagoon Resort (it’s the “backhike” because it’s on the side of the island with no road), having a picnic on local picnic island, Pisiwi; hiking up to the Japanese Lighthouse to take in the incredible view of the Lagoon, and traveling about an hour by boat to the island of Tol to join Assumption Parish for their Feast of the Assumption festivities.
Going to Tol was absolutely amazing. To start off, we left Weno at sunset so the entire trip was drenched in dusky sunset colors (which only serve to make more brilliant the already spectacular views of islands and ocean). Additionally, Tol is unlike any other island in the lagoon, in that it is made up of several island connected by mangrove channels. As we turned into what appeared to be the main part of the island, we slowed the motor down and quietly aimed ourselves into the eerie and incredibly beautiful channels. It was unlike anything I’d experienced before. Upon our arrival we were welcomed with open and incredibly inviting arms by Father Fernando and his crew of local parishioners. We were fed wonderful food (chicken, breadfruit, rice, veggies, pineapple, bananas, coconut) and had wonderful little rooms made up for us, complete with soap and shampoo set out, à la a fancy hotel. We spend the next day partying with the parishioners of Assumption and enjoying more wonderful food (including some to-die for sashimi), we were generally treated like royalty.
Other exciting activities include two (yes, two!) trips to Pisar in the last two months. The first was an excursion inspired by the visitation of our Peace Corps friend's sister’s visit, the second as a going away shindig for one of the Peace Corps volunteers I’ve become closest with while here, Andrea. Speaking of Peace Corps, the PCVs here in Chuuk have become close and dear friends over the course of the last 15 months. We generally don’t think of each other as Peace Corps Volunteers or JVs, but rather as “Team Chuuk”.
Another great excursion was led by six of our students on a Sunday afternoon, and included a hike up to the top of one of the “mountains” on island, which afforded fantastic views; this time of the island itself rather than just the lagoon (although that is always a breathtaking view). We also visited some of the old abandoned Japanese caves leftover from the Japanese occupation during WWII, complete with rusted guns poking out from inside. The hike was wonderful, and interspersed with breaks to rest during which one of our students would shimmy up a nearby tree and cut down coconuts to quench our thirst. It was fantastic to spend time with our students outside of the normal classroom setting.

Reflections:
Believe it or not, I have spent over twice as much time in Micronesia as I have left. What?!? When did that happen? Somewhere amidst teaching classes, grading papers, riding in boats, drinking coconuts, sweating and sweating and sweating, stumbling along in Chuukese (and making no progress), laying around, processing and reflecting, I have ended up at the point where home is just over the horizon. It both feels as if I just arrived and as if I’ve been here forever. As mentioned in the beginning of this post, the passage of time is not easily noted. And in a lot of ways I feel like my mind has been as stifled as my body has felt in the tropical heat and humidity, and productive (written) reflection of my time here doesn’t seem to come easily. Suffice it to say that this experience has been everything I didn’t expect it to be (and, I suppose, a few things I did) in both good ways and bad. The good has been delightfully surprising and the bad has been more draining than anticipated. I never feel as if I can do either the good or the bad justice on this blog, so I’ll leave it at that.

Thanks for visiting, and I’ll see you in another couple of months for an update (and another 7 or so stateside!).

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

October - March, and some thoughts on Teaching

* Disclaimer* - This was also written quite a while ago, but also wasn't published because it felt incomplete. Oh well, it's a good overview of some major events in the past several months!

Because the climate and the length of the day here is so uniform, it’s difficult to pinpoint exactly when in the past certain events happened. I’m going to highlight some of the more interesting things that have happened since October in the order they appear in my memory, which may not necessarily be the order in which they happened in reality.

Ok, I’ll start back in October. October brought Caroline’s parents and with them a trip to the tropical island paradise of Pisar. I suppose it’s difficult to imagine escaping to a tropical island paradise when you all might assume I live on one (and it would be a correct assumption); however my paradise is crowded, polluted, run-down, and dirty whereas Pisar is pure, unadulterated tropical bliss. It’s a tiny island at the edge of the reef, about an hour boat ride from Weno. It takes all of about a minute to walk across the island at any point, and maybe about three to walk its perimeter. Pisar is white sand, hammocks, fresh coconuts and snorkeling. It is relaxation at its ultimate expression. While there aren’t amenities you might commonly associate with paradise (electricity, running water, air conditioning) it is all the better for it. It’s camping Chuukese style and it’s perfect. We spent three days and two nights snorkeling, reading, lounging, napping, eating and staging photo shoots on the beach. We even invented and spent hours playing both coconut bocce and coconut golf. Recently Jessica’s parents came to visit and they treated us to a similarly wonderful experience. Truly, Pisar is heaven on earth.

The JV community and Peace Corps volunteers here in Chuuk form a tight group. Back in October/November we had several memorable adventures together. One lovely Saturday we decided to walk the entire perimeter of Weno. We made a stop at local resort Blue Lagoon for some breakfast and a stop at the other JV placement, Xavier High School, to rest, but other than that walked for about 6 hours in order to circumnavigate the island. Along the way, we discovered a completely different side of Weno (both literally and figuratively). The main road on the island only extends along the western side, therefore the eastern side is considerably less populated and quite different from “downtown” where we live; surprisingly different, even. It was really nice to see a calmer, friendlier area, as downtown tends to be a bit rough around the edges and can seem unwelcoming at times. Along the backside of the island people greeted us warmly and kids ran with us along stretches of the path. Contrast that with when we made it back around to Nepukos, our lovely village, where we were mooned by children who were simultaneously shouting “f*@# you!”.

Another fun PC/JV adventure happened a few weeks after that when several of us headed out to visit our PC friend John on his island Eot. We spent the day hiking around the island then enjoyed a very generous, if not slightly awkward, feast and performance for us put on by John’s church community.

A few weekends before our visit to Eot, the five of us (Ty, Charles, Jess and Caro) went out to Udot, an island neighboring Eot, with one of my coworkers, Kiki. Kiki is a huge friend to JVs and her family is incredibly kind and generous to us. We went out for her grandson’s first birthday (first birthdays are a big deal) and spent the weekend hanging around, helping in food preparation, eating, and enjoying the peace and calm of island life off of Weno. While there I got to pound taro for the first time. Taro is the root of a large plant that is grown in marshy areas. The root is dug up and boiled for a long time, until it becomes soft and can be pounded. It’s then pounded, using a large mortar-like tool, into something that has the consistency of refried beans. It’s hard work and people often spend hours pounding. It’s delicious, and is a major staple of the local diet; especially when breadruit (another starch staple) is not in season.

In November I also visited my host family for the first time. They live on a nearby island called Tonoas, which is about a 30-minute boat ride from me. I went on a weekend that happened to be the 1-year anniversary of my host mom’s mother’s death and so there was a huge celebration and a ton of relatives there, easily 100. It was kind of nice to experience the family for the first time amidst the craziness of that weekend because although I didn’t get to spend a lot of one-on-one time with them, I got lost in the melée of food preparations and it was less awkward than one might expect the first night staying with a family of strangers would be. My host family consists of my mom, Derusa and dad Augustine. Their four kids are all in Hawaii. There are plenty of cousins around though, including three of my current homeroom students, so there are always a lot of people around. I’ve only been back once since, but hope to go more frequently as the school year comes to a close and summer approaches. Although the culture here is very shy and difficult to break into, once you’re considered part of a family, you’re truly in. When students ask me where I’m from, it’s almost just as often they mean where I’m “from” in Chuuk as where I’m from in the U.S. I can say I’m from Tonoas and no one would consider that weird, or justify it by saying “you mean your host family’s from there” – I’m truly “seni Tonoas” (from Tonoas).

Christmas was spent here on Weno with Charles, Jess and Caro. Tyler went back to the states for the month of December to be with his family while his brother and mom underwent surgery. On Christmas Eve, the four of us went to Mass at the church next door to our school, and it was a beautiful service. It was wonderful to share the experience with the local community. On Christmas day, our ICC (in-country coordinator) Fr. Marc came down from Xavier HS to pick us up and bring us back up to spend the day with the other volunteers and the boys who can’t afford to go home for the holidays (Xavier is a boarding school). It was a gorgeous day and was so nice just to lounge around and relax. We also helped decorate local style, by collecting huge piles of ferns and braiding them into garland, which we then decorated with plumeria and other local flowers. We also enjoyed an excellent dinner, mixing local and more traditional American foods, and had a great time watching the boys receive their presents and sing karaoke afterwards.

January brought another trip out to Tonoas to administer the entrance exam for SCA and another chance to visit my host family. In the beginning of February the local archdiocese celebrated the 100 year anniversary of Catholicism in Chuuk, which brought a lot of great cultural performances and a ton of people to our school campus. The high school I live and work at is part of a complex that includes the church, the local Catholic college and the gym. Therefore, everyone who came from other islands for the two-day celebration stayed on the complex, including the high school, which meant our home was temporarily transformed into a bit of a hotel for the weekend. It was loud, crowded couple of days!

March brought the end of third quarter and thus the beginning of the final quarter of my first year here (craziness!) and final quarter with three out of my four roommates. It also brought the first of two Emmaus retreats with the junior class. Emmaus is a three night, four-day retreat that (almost) every student looks forward to from the beginning of his or her freshman year. It’s an intense and moving experience for most of them and is one that I felt privileged to be a part of. It was really great to be with them in a context outside of the classroom. I truly love my students, and feel blessed that they make up such a significant part of my experience; I don’t know what I’d do without them!

And finally, the classroom. I’ve kept my work experiences for the end of this post for no other reason than the fact that they are the most difficult to thoughtfully and succinctly express. Therefore, prepare yourselves for some lengthy rambling!

My classes are going all right – I often struggle to find a balance between letting the students be themselves and disciplining their behavior. I’m definitely a softy in the classroom and have a difficult time being a strict disciplinarian. It’s a delicate balancing act between disciplining and forming personal relationships, made all the more precarious as the whole experience plays out in a foreign culture. Every time I have a bad day here I think fondly of how much better I’ll be as a second year teacher. Whether or not that’s true, it’s comforting to think about!

One thing that’s repeated often to us JVs, and that is echoed in other writings about international service or mission work is that one often encounters feelings of ineffectiveness in what he or she does. As an American, it’s so easy for me to be results-oriented, to seek praise to affirm that I’m succeeding, to expect direct communication about what’s expected of me so that I can rise to that expectation. However, using my American standards to frame this experience only sets me up to feel like a failure, and let me tell you – I’ve had my share of feeling like a major failure in all sorts of contexts this year. I say all this to share that although I have often felt like a failure and often feel as if my presence here is of little consequence, it’s all part of the experience. In seeing the problems that face this school and the problems facing education in Chuuk in general, perhaps I’m the one who is supposed to be affected, and to bring that renewed perspective back to my life at home. Perhaps I’m the one who’s supposed to be truly changed rather than assuming my presence here is changing anything or anyone. Often it feels like it’s not – like I could leave at any point without many people other than my students noticing.

Observations on beauty

* Disclaimer * - The following post was written maybe a month after I arrived, but I never posted it because it felt incomplete. I recently reread it and realized it's fine, so enjoy!

Chuuk is a beautiful place. Its natural environment is stunning. From the roof of the high school where I both live and teach, I can spin in a circle and slowly take in views of rainforest drenched mountains (large hills, really) and the Pacific Ocean dotted with neighboring islands. The ocean always has an amazing hue – sapphire blue when it’s a clear day; deep, dark, angry grey when it’s about to rain; purple-ish as the sun sets behind a smattering of clouds. Just the other day, I was on the roof after school with a few of my community mates, and we witnessed perhaps the most beautiful and intense sunset I’ve ever seen. The color began to appear behind us, hot pink clouds nestled between two large hills. Slowly it spread across the sky – the entire sky – streaking it with oranges, yellows, pinks and purples. The longer we stared, the more it appeared to intensify, until it slowly faded into a dim strip of light on the horizon and the stars came out to begin their dazzling show. A few weeks ago, we came up to the roof just in time to witness an entire rainbow stretched above the hills. The whole arc was clearly visible, end-to-end, and the colors nearly pulsed with intensity; the most amazing rainbow I’ve ever seen. Suffice it to say that Chuuk is rich in beauty, a beauty that is big and intense.

Once you climb down off of the alternate reality offered by the roof and its views, there is another Chuuk. It’s still beautiful - because on an island this size you can’t ever escape seeing the ocean and the ocean is always stunning - but it’s something else, too.

On the flight here we took the island-hopper from Hawaii; as a result the flight crew knew us pretty well after our third deplane-reboard procedure. As we neared our destination, one of the flight attendants finally asked where we were stopping. When we replied “Chuuk”, she asked “Why would you want to go there?” and when we told her we were staying for two years, she said, “Oh, you’ll be back on this plane in two weeks”. This seems to be the general feeling about Chuuk – why would you want to go there?

It’s true that here on the island of Weno, things aren’t in the best condition. The road that runs from one end of the island to the other is more pothole than not. When it rains, the potholes fill up and cars plow through lakes of water; people through fields of mud. Power is intermittent, ranging from 4 hours in a given day to 12 plus (or even 24, on one unique weekend) from my understanding not due to lack of resource, but due to mismanagement of it. Although I’ve never felt unsafe here, it’s generally understood that you probably shouldn’t walk around much after dark – alone or otherwise. You can often hear drunk men shouting as they wonder the streets and sometimes those drunk men wander carrying knives, looking for a fight.

There is so much that is good here – tight-knit families, the beautiful simplicity and relaxed pace of everyday life, an abundance of awe-inspiring nature, the spirit of sharing; but that good often seems overshadowed by the problems faced by this state.

Monday, May 30, 2011

8 months later...

Well, this is embarrassing.

Nearly 8 month without a blog post? Yikes.

Well, now that the dust has settled around the end of year number one of teaching at SCA, I'm hoping to update this baby a bit. In fact, I'll be offering a 7 month retrospective touching on what the heck I've been up to, and how I've been feeling about it. Yes, a little late, but hopefully this will satiate those of you whom I promised a once a month update. And hopefully it will revive me out of the non-communication vacuum I've been drifting in.

So, apologies to all for my absence and keep your eyes peeled for updates throughout the summer. I'll be sticking around here on the island of Weno teaching half-day summer school, which means I'll have PLENTY of time to update all of you on my life.

Love to you all!